I like it. Very abstract, but somehow musical. The only problem seemed to be line 8, which was far too long to fit the rhythm of the poem. Apart from that, good work.
z
Touche Mr. Velasquez
Touche Mr. Velasquez,
you beat me at my own game of hide & seek.
Who would've thought I'd hide under your shoes?
You seem to do it a lot anyway.
Slow down the music as it told itself to just then.
I love this song like i love you, total separation from what like.
I like whats coming.
A fingertapping solo as a metronome for the rhythm of my one handed typing habit,
out of time with our maverick heartbeats,
just like we never planned.
And this right here is the concept of 'us'.
I like it. Very abstract, but somehow musical. The only problem seemed to be line 8, which was far too long to fit the rhythm of the poem. Apart from that, good work.
Points: 890
Reviews: 321
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