Touche Mr. Velasquez
Touche Mr. Velasquez,
you beat me at my own game of hide & seek.
Who would've thought I'd hide under your shoes?
You seem to do it a lot anyway.
Slow down the music as it told itself to just then.
I love this song like i love you, total separation from what like.
I like whats coming.
A fingertapping solo as a metronome for the rhythm of my one handed typing habit,
out of time with our maverick heartbeats,
just like we never planned.
And this right here is the concept of 'us'.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I like it. Very abstract, but somehow musical. The only problem seemed to be line 8, which was far too long to fit the rhythm of the poem. Apart from that, good work.